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Karin Brugman, Judith Budde & Berry Collewijn - Me, My Selves, and I

Discovering other sides of yourself with Voice Dialogue

BESTSELLERS | COACHING | PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

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They each have their own habits, feelings and thoughts. This is a fun and enlightening way of looking at yourself and it offers a number of advantages. It will provide you with an understanding of how your behavior works and why it is sometimes ineffective. You will also learn how you can turn your behavior around. It will also become clear to you why some people immediately attract you and others do not.

This book was written for anyone who wants to know themselves better and for professionals who want to become acquainted with Voice Dialogue.

Karin Brugman (behavioral scientist) works as an independent senior trainer and coach. She operates from her own office, ‘De Onderstroom’ (lit. The Undercurrent). During her studies, she worked as a volunteer for the ‘Kindertelefoon’ (a children’s hotline) in Utrecht. This is where she first began her work as a trainer. She continued to hone her skills with the KPC Group where she trained teachers. It was here that she was first introduced to psychodrama techniques, thanks to her colleague Jan Lap.

She was pleasantly surprised by how effective this method proved to be. In 1999, Karin joined the Boertiengroep and continued to work there for another nine years. She gave post-vocational training to people who sought to become trainers and coaches themselves, and she also taught courses in personal effectiveness. She attended many courses herself during this period, one of which was the psychodrama course taught by Lex Mulder. In psychodrama, depth and playfulness go hand in hand perfectly, as do humor and sensitivity. These elements also characterize the way in which Karin likes to work. In a very lively way, Lex Mulder successfully combines psychodrama techniques with the Voice Dialogue theory and method.

It was here that Karin discovered that she does not consist of one but of a whole bunch of selves, selves that often have their own opposing ideas. This enlightening and respectful way of looking at people touched her and inspired her deeply. This is why, in 2001, she attended a Voice Dialogue course held by Robert Stamboliev. During a visit with the founders of Voice Dialogue, Hal and Sidra Stone, she ran into Judith Budde again. They still knew each other from the Psychodrama course. This second encounter led to their collaboration in teaching Voice Dialogue at ‘het Balkon’ (lit. the Balcony) and eventually to the writing of this book, together with Berry Collewijn.

Judith Budde (Dutch linguist) is head of ‘het Balkon’, a conference and training center in the Netherlands. She has more than 20 years of experience as a business trainer (NIP-registered, lit. Dutch Institute of Psychologists) and coach in the fields of management, personal effectiveness and team development. She has been training trainers and coaches since 1997. In the late 1990s, when she was looking for a way to liven up her courses, she took a course in Psychodrama techniques with Lex Mulder. She enjoyed the playfulness and the joy in his way of working. It was during this course that she first became acquainted with Voice Dialogue, and with Karin Brugman. Shortly thereafter, she met Berry Collewijn who was also very enthusiastic about working with Voice Dialogue.

Judith was attracted to the nonjudgmental, accepting and liberating aspects of the method. What a beautiful way of working. She continued to study under Robert Stamboliev and Maria Daniels. She regularly attended training sessions with Hal and Sidra Stone in California and also participated in workshops with Martha-Lou Wolff, Judith Hendin and Tamar Stone. Together with her life partner, René Meijer, she manages the conference and education center ‘het Balkon’ in Vasse in the Netherlands. In this renovated monastery, they bring together knowledge of intervention sciences to create courses for trainers, coaches, advisors and therapists. Judith teaches courses in Voice Dialogue and drama techniques. In 2006, the book she wrote together with Lex Mulder, Drama in bedrijf. Werken met dramatechnieken in training en coaching (lit. Drama in company/scene. Working with drama techniques in training and coaching), was published by Thema.

Berry Collewijn has been established as an independent senior trainer, coach and educator since 1995. She operates from ‘Beer’ in Amsterdam where she works for various companies and institutions. With her life partner Lex Mulder, she creates trainings for professional coaches, trainers, and consultants in Amsterdam and on Ibiza. They teach how to use Voice Dialogue and also how to combine it with drama techniques in order to work with it in groups. Lex developed Voicedrama, a combination of Voice Dialogue and psychodrama techniques, in the early ’90s. On request they can give international training in different places in the world in various languages (Dutch, English and Italian). Berry is also active in guiding and facilitating behaviour modification training programs for executives as well as courses in personal effectiveness. She uses a lot of experiential learning in those courses, along with Voice Dialogue and various drama techniques.

Born and raised in Amsterdam, she earned her degree as a director at the Amsterdam school of theatre during the ’70s. She worked as an Italian guide for a few years after which she earned a reputation in business. She started up a franchise with five establishments in the Netherlands and managed the whole operation. In 1993, she went to see Jerien Koolbergen for some management coaching. This was her first experience with Voice Dialogue. It was a revelation for Berry how penetrative and effective the method was and how well it worked, both personally and professionally. She was immediately hooked. She took a three year course in Voice Dialogue with Robert Stamboliev and attended some training sessions with Hal and Sidra Stone in California. She was one of Hal and Sidra’s co-trainers during an international congress in the Netherlands. Next to training and education, Berry also provides individual coaching as well as couples’ coaching.

She created with a group of actors the ‘Theatre of selves’ (Theater van de ikken). This combination of theatre and Voice Dialogue offers a playful introduction in various aspects of Voice dialogue and the Psychology of selves.

RECOMMENDATIONS

'Karin, Judith and Berry are a great team! They have written a practical, delightfully easy to understand, and very valuable book on Voice Dialogue.'
Hal and Sidra Stone, founders of Voice Dialogue, Voice Dialogue International, California

'An excellent clear and concise yet remarkably complete presentation of the Voice Dialogue work.'
Robert Stamboliev, director Voice Dialogue World, the Netherlands

'This well-written book kept me engaged from start to finish. It is alive with vivid examples of how different inner selves can emerge and enhance our personal and professional lives.'
Mary Disharoon, licensed psychotherapist and director Voice Dialogue California

'Drawing on both their professional and personal experience, Judith, Berry and Karin explain in a clear and simple way how a knowledge and understanding of the many selves that inhabit our being can bring us great gifts. This book is essential reading for anyone interested in understanding who they really are and how they can take more conscious charge of their lives.'
John Kent, director Voice Dialogue UK

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword by Hal and Sidra Stone
Introduction

1 The Psychology of Selves
1.1 Every person is made up of many selves
1.2 The limitations of your primary and disowned selves
1.3 How do your selves react when you try to change?
1.4 The manager of the selves: the Aware Ego

2 Subpersonalities take the stage
2.1 Discover your own subpersonalities
2.2 The Pleaser
2.3 The Pusher
2.4 The Rational Mind
2.5 The Inner Critic
2.6 The Inner Child
2.7 More subpersonalities
2.8 Archetypical subpersonalities and the Patriarch

3 Patterns in relationships
3.1 Bonding patterns
3.2 Past selves in present relationships
3.3 Subpersonalities and their impact on relationships
3.4 How can you break through the patterns?

4 How does the Voice Dialogue method work?
4.1 The goal of the method
4.2 What type of challenges does the method lend itself to?
4.3 The form of a session: Mary
4.4 Is that all?
4.5 The role of the facilitator

Thanks and acknowledgements
Appendix
1. The history of Voice Dialogue
2. Addresses for Voice Dialogue sessions and education
3. Glossary
Bibliography
About the authors

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